Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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