i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
