i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
