He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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