By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
