During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
