I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Four minutes until I can fart!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize