He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
