Nicole vs. Life
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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