Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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