I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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