im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Randomize
