What did we do last night that was yellow?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
