i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
