We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
