I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
