ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
