I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
