is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
