i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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