Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I could make wine with my vomit
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize