Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
