I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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