i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
