remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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