peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
4 words: hood of his car
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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