So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
