I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
