toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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