maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
