Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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