Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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