My balls are so social today.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
