he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
