i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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