I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
