It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
