She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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