Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
