just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
