try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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