what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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