We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize