There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize