Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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