that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
