PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
