i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
