just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
