hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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