Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
