The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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