Im at strip club and am horny
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I did not marry a roomba.
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