we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize