I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
