ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
