i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
