I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
