have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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