So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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