Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
