i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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