she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you had me at cake vodka
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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