My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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